SJM: Call me a failure

I think I’ve really screwed up the whole stranger danger thing. Sure, my daughter and I have had many talks about safety and what to do if someone threatens her or tries to hurt her. These are frank discussions, and I’m pretty sure she gets it.

But I’ve failed dismally because I seem to have taught her most people are inherently good and don’t want to hurt others.

This lesson came up again recently when we were consignment shopping at this cool boutique near our house. (Ok, I was shopping and she was irritating the women around us who probably all got babysitters so they could be child-free for a few hours.)

My daughter took off her winter boots to try on high heels and then strut around the store like a pop star. But when she walked away from her boots, she looked concerned.

“Mommy, can I leave my boots there?” she asked.

“Sure, why not?”

“Well, what if somebody steals them?”

I laughed. The idea of someone stealing her beat-up Cinderella-themed purple winter boots is preposterous. But I suppose it’s a serious threat to an almost-six-year-old’s world.

“No one’s going to steal your boots, sweetie,” I said as I stepped into a pair of leopard print stilettos.

“How do you know?” she asked while slowly inching away from her boots towards cherry red pumps.

“Because sweetie,” I said. “Most people are good and won’t steal from you.”

I know this is not the message we are supposed to instil in our children. In this big, scary world full of evil Internet predators and ruthless white-collar criminals, I should be teaching her FEAR. I should be teaching her to question every human being’s intentions, to scrutinize people’s actions and never to turn her back lest someone try to harm her.

But I’m just not buying it.

I’ve met and loved many honest people in my lifetime. Only a handful of individuals have been truly out to harm me. Most people are good. The odds are too stacked for me to teach my child otherwise.